Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I want you more than these girls want KFC
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize