quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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