It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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