Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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