Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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