Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
