It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize