Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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