Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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