she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize