yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Randomize
