he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
