he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
