Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
The adults are the big ones right?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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