Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
