If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
