can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
