she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
