OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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