I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
