I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize