Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize