dude i'm inner monologue high
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
