but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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