My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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