Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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