did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
