Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
