I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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