The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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