About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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