he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Randomize
