Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
