I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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