barbara walters just said penis...
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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