help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize