I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
