Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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