I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
