if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
