Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm too high and old for this...
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
That was before I lit my hair on fire
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize