): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
