worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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