watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
