I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
