I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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