even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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