Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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