he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
