shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
