do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize