He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
