so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
we should paint friendship bongs
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
