I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
