If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
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