Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Randomize
