Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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